So 2009 is almost over and I have yet to post a single entry this year.
Well....here it is. Happy 2009. Not the best year i've had, but not the worst. In general just a meh year. Happy Holidays to the one person who will probably read this. And on a selfish note, here's to a much better year in 2010.

I wonder how often I need to post in this to keep it open?
hmmm

WOW it has been awhile...
I think that maybe 2 people I know still post on here. meh
So really what's the point. I just don't want this LJ to shut down until I can print/copy all my old entries into another format. What a shame it would be to lose random memories from the last 6 ish years of my life.

I won't mention who made these little human rights videos...BUT I shall say I find it hypocritical and ironic.

Okay I have to say a few things regarding the 5th year memorial of 9-11. A little late in posting but you can all suck it. Might as well not even read cuz it's just gonna prove I'm a heartless bitch. Here goes:

1. While driving the mean streets of LA listening to the early morning radio shows I've come to know and love... they play a musical tribute to the people of, or the day of, or the victims of 9-11 or D. all of the above. Anyway. I'm thinking it's going to be some sappy sad song and blah blah. Wrong. it's the fucking fray 'how to save a life' ummmm what's wrong with this picture??
First off NEVER use a television show's theme song for a national tragedy musical tribute. How can I even pause to think of those who suffered because of 9-11 when I have images of Dr. meridith grey and dr. mcdreamy running through my mind and the whole will they won't they scenario. dare I say it was a sick ploy filled with subliminal messages urging us to watch more tv...more specifically Grey's Anatomy?? perhaps.

2. The fray. you know...I really liked them, but no more. That song came out when? Oh look at that, original release date sept 13....two thousand FIVE. So, a year. Funny how just as the song perhaps even the band had run it's course....a tribute song comes out. I'm sure that didn't hurt their sales? Maybe it did who knows. Fuckin Fray using a national tragedy to make some bank. bitches. Oh but it's acoustic...nevermind that makes it totally acceptable.

3. WRITE A NEW SONG!! Maybe one that actually has to do with the events of 9-11. Besides the words, "how to save a life" what the fuck does that song have to do with 9-11???? Honestly look at the lyrics:
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Um....not so much. Just goes to show you can pretty much get whatever you want out of a song.
Just write a new one or add the lil clip-pits to one of the old tribute songs from when it first happened. One that makes sense to add the lil 911 clips to. But wait that brings me to...

4. For starters some of the snip-pits they used i thought were in bad taste. People screaming and dying. Some douche bag bragging about someone he saved... This just in: real heros don't brag. Some bitchy 911 operator. "I agree with you that you need air but I can't tell you to break a window". Lame. Bush "we are gonna live our lives as americans???" what? COME ON.

My point is this wasn't made for the people who were REALLY affected by 9-11, meaning people who were there or lost someone close to them. This was made for the rest of the nation trying to tie their own significance to this tragedy. For the rest of us to hear people who are suffering and about to die (which is pretty fucked up in it's on right) and the chaos so they can get emotional and feel like it really affects them. The people who were really affected probably don't want to hear this shit. I wouldn't. WHY would I want to tune in to the radio only to randomly hear a snip-pit of my family member who died...right before they died. OH BUT WAIT it's set to an acoustic version of the grey's anatomy theme song so it's cool. right on. i feel so much better about it all now?

ALL of the 9-11 tributes and re-running the footage and the endless talking about it would really piss me off. Having to watch this over and over and over. Can you really heal when the media keeps ripping open your heart and rubbing salt on it?? no. I wouldn't want to keep re-living it. Oh look jimmy there is daddy falling from the tower. SO FUCKED UP!!! On the bright side I would think oh, well it's good cuz people will always remember. Whatever. How can we forget. It was a huge deal, something this country will never ever forget. but I really hope they forget to run the same footage next year. Maybe we can let the people who need to grieve over loved ones and those in psych therapy because of what they went through that day heal in peace. And maybe the rest of us can stop getting overly emotional over a tribute video that has nothing to do with us 5 years later. No offence to those who may have, cuz the media really fucks with our minds and emotions.

it was this huge thing that happened and a very emotional and scary thing at the time. Our country was violated in a big way because so many innocent people just living their lives were killed. we will all have to live with that and whatever insignificant story we have tacked on to that day. But MY GOD, tragic things happen every single day. national tragedies happen. WORLD tragedies happen. Why don't we make musical tributes about all the fucked up shit that is going on as we speak? Because we are self involved and uncaring about other peoples tragedies unless we can find a way in which it relates to ourselves. Which is why 9-11 happened in the first place.

Sad truth. people like drama. When people die, even when a person dies... if we can find a way to attach ourselves to the tragedy of it, most people will. Who knows why. We like attention, we like sympathy, we need to cry, we like to feel moved, upset, emotional, affected by something? i dunno. but we live in a fucked up world for so many reasons. 9-11's fray tribute just sent me flying over the edge.

Oh and while I'm at it...those stupid "when were you when 9-11 happened" things need to stop. I don't fucking care where you were nor do most people. another chance for us to talk about ourselves and how we are affected by the whole thing. I'm sure it was a tough day for you because your cousin works right across the street. BUT, if they came out alive... thank your lucky stars and keep your lame story to yourself. I think I can safely say worse could have happened and did to other people.

good times.

So in the last few days ALOT ALOT of drama has gone on at work. Long long long story short I feel that the bottom line is I work for a company who is more concerned with the bottom line then supporting and ensuring a healthy work environment. I expressed my concerns to the best of my ability. Was some responsibility taken? yes. Was enough responsibility taken? no. Did I quit today? no Do I see it in the near future? possibly. Am I totally mind fucked? probably.
I do know alot of shit went down. I felt it was a little wrong. I feel weird and totally confused about what the hell just happened. These lyrics explain exactly my feelings toward the company.



It has left me feeling tired and exposed
You've been asking me to bleed
It seems these kinds of questions
They come too easy to you now
Your lack of shame comes naturally
I should not be surprised
I should have seen it sooner

Expect me to apologize
For things that you've done wrong
While you're inciting others
You're owning up to nothing
And I wish that I was gone
Because you're not going anywhere

And so it begins...headstone NUMERO UNO! The sinking fish has finally perished. As of around 6:30 Tuesday evening, this the 13th day of June, lucero is no more.I'm pretty saddened by the whole thing. He made it through alot. All the way across country and wow, he pretty much died just shy of his one year anniversary of life with ME. I dunno what happened. The last few days he was struggling, couldn't swim to the top. Just kinda floated on the bottom. Sorta upside downish. I thought maybe he was constipated and the websites told me tolower the water so I did and fed him peas, pealed, lil bits. Which I did, and he would't eat them and today he died. I really tried to keep him going. I'm sorry I let you down lil fish. Lo siento. But we had a burial for him at sea, and I said some kind words to send him on his journey to the otherside. tear sigh.
AND THEN baxter almost ate it. Poor animals I try so hard to kill. he has been MEGA weird lately and last night I tried to pick him up and he freaked like it hurt him. So I sucked it up and decided to take him to the friggin vet it being my day off and all. TURNS OUT, bax max had a temp of 105 POINT 7 which they took a couple times cuz it was too bad to be true. Apparently a kitten cat temp of 106 causes brain damage and brain seizures and death. So the bax man was .3 degrees away from death. he was knock knock knockin on heavens doooooor. WHO FUCKIN KNEW!? So the doc called in other docs and they had to do an emergency thing with IVs and fluids and vitamins and lots o shots and I had to leave him for an hour or so while all this emergency life saving shit went down. Finally they got it to 103.something which is high but survivable. They suspect some sort of internal infection. Possibly the upper respiratory infection the kitten had, possibly something else. They took all this lab work stuff and tomorrow I shall discover the TRUTH! DAMN. Crazy shit today, this, my only day off.
to top off the evening, I had to purchase a rectal thermometer, to monitor his temp throughout the night. Spike upwards near 106...kitten ER (imagine THAT Drama series). The best part was the first temp taking when I had to come to terms with penetrating my cats anus. Waaaaaaaay weird. beyond weird. My roomie caught the hi-jinks on camera. Good times. Unless I didn't get it in all the way, I think he is down to 101.
Moral of the story....TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY BIG ONES LATER...I think baxter MAY just pull through. Huzzah.

all my pets are dying.
I got another kitten. Lil black girly girl puss puss.
She came with germs and sickness. She spread her shit all over town like a cheap hooker and then Baxter got sick. they sneeze all over each other and me and it's all around gross. She looks like death drowning in a mucus bubble. Ugh. sick shit I swear. Couple trips to the vet. Twice daily antibiotic drops. Moist cotten balls cleansing the face of all nasty nonsense.yadda yadda. cats sneezing and coughing is kinda funny but it wears thin after a week er so. As if that weren't enough... my fish is now on his way out. QUICKLY! He has sunk to the bottom of the tank and is not moving much at all and occasionally attempts to swim, only kinda upside down. Very weird. According to the world wide web, I think he may be constipated? Thus, they say I must fed him thawed out frozen pealed peas? I'm afraid that 1) he won't make it until I can get said peas tomorrow and 2) even if he does last through the night, the pea eating might be the very thing to push him over the edge. Perhaps soon a burial at sea? I'm kinda sad about it all but still find it mildly humorous. Does this make me a bad pet owner? possibly. Very very possible.

MY TEETH AH KILLIN ME!!!
I Need NEED to get my wisdom teefers removed...asap. My whole jaw hurts. This happens every couple of months. Sharp pains and hatred of my life. i want to do a research study and have them removed for free. Anyone know how a gal with no cash monies and no insurance can get her impacted teefers removed.
PS since all I do is piss and moan on this thing I changed my picture so it fits in better with my bitchfest.

jesus.
here i am on hold. do do do ded dodododododod erg.
I'm a criminal again. I got a speeding ticket. Then I lost the ticket and I kinda forgot about the ticket. So I finally find this online thingy so I can look up the ticket. Turns out I didn't show in court on the 10th o May and thus another bench warrent for my arrest.So I'm calling this number to get assistance to find out what I can do and I'm on hold. Heres a lil story to bide my time: So I call only to discover that "THERE ARE CURRENTLY 93 (yeah I know NINTY THREE!!?? on a tuesday at 2:20pm?) CALLERS IN FRONT OF YOU. YOUR CALL WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE ORDER IN WHICH IT WAS RECIEVED." I wait 30 fuckin minutes and hear "THERE ARE 11 CALLERS..." and I'm waititng and I'm excited and I'm waiting and then..."DUE TO A TECHNICAL ERROR WE ARE UNABLE TO TAKE YOUR CALL AT THIS TIME. PLEASE HANG UP AND CALL AGAIN. GOODBYE!" WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after half an hour of wasted time listening to your shit verision of over the rainbow you can't take my call. GOD DAMMIT! So I hang up and call back. This time ONLY seventy five callers are ahead of me. So here I am on hold as we speak. Wait for it...."THERE ARE CURRENTLY 25 CALLERS..." oh man. Imma kill a bitch. THEN I may deserve this shit treatment. hooo hum...this is STUPID. And I'm still dealing with sallie mae/wellsfargo about being wrongfully charged. The phone bank people tell me they have no power, so before 6 today I have to go speak in person to a branch manager about a coutesy overdraft refund thing. I guess I should also call sprint at some point. I guess ignoring such things will only ruin my credit and cause the battle to wage on for greater amounts of time. I HATE dealing with this shit. HATE IT!!!
Oh wait...no don't do it again. It can't possibly happen twice. could it?
HOOORAH A REAL BITCH!!! Hi Bitch...nono no don't you sass me. Nah nah nah fuck you. this is all bullshit.
Okay I got an extension. I have 60 days from the time it was due to...they called it "post bail" but I think they mean pay the ticket or appear in court. I'm so confused it sent me right back to this automated thing, so I dunno if it worked of if Imma get arrested or if I have to go to court. but I'll be DAMNED if Imma wait around for another 30 mins to talk to some snippy birch again. Well kids I guess I gots to go do some hookin so I can make me some bail monies. FUCK!!!

and I Meow Meow Meow and I meow meow meow.
RANDOM.
LIFE=stanky. Mobidity and Mortality all around. It's everywhere I look.
Money stress, job stress, family sress, ROOMATE STRESS.
Shannon is leaving in TWO WEEKS!!! TWO!
I posted on craigslist. I think I found someone in the 20++ responses I got.
Hopefully. I'll prolly send pics and decide by fridee. And then sit and wait.
UGH I need a mental vacation so I dun have to think aboot ANYTHING negative!!!
GAG. I'm tired it feels sooooo late and it's only 10.